Open for Goodness

I have, it seems, no problem giving of myself.  I give my love, my energy, my time away so easily to what I believe to be a worthy cause.  This is not my problem.  I am not stingy in this area of my life at all.  The problem, it appears, is in receiving.  For some reason (<cough>..unworthiness!) I have trouble receiving all good things that are always flowing to me.  I have become the dam that blocks my own flow.  Ugh.

It’s wonderful and all that I am a nice and kind person.  It’s not so wonderful, nor very healthy, that I am not allowing the Universe to be nice back to me.  This is how resentment is created.  Indeed, this is what burns a girl out!  I give and give and give until one day I wake up with an incredible feeling of a void within.  I panic.  I cry out.  How did this happen?!! How can I fill this void up again and quick?!!

Well let’s see… I could eat.  I could drink a box of wine.  I could have sex, buy something I can’t afford, send a bunch of texts to make sure people still love me….etc.

OR!… I could breathe.  I could sit and breathe for a few minutes and focus on my heart.  I could see love & light pouring into my heart and feel the peace in that.  I could pray…ask for healing.  I could write it all down and allow the expressive, creative process to bring me clarity.   I could intend…intend that I will do this differently.  I could ask for a miracle, a shift in perception, and ask that I be open to receiving…to see myself as worthy and to receive the good that is coming to me with love, gratitude and an open heart.

I like the latter.  The former leaves me feeling icky and gross and utterly unloved.  It’s getting to the no-brainer stage, but I still have trouble sometimes.  There are times when: I still lose my cool; I still eat when I’m not hungry; I still feel sorry for myself when I don’t hear back immediately from a friend.  This is the shit that I work on day in and day out.

My job is to remember who I am.  And every time I glimpse my greatness I shed a little light for you too.  I open myself up to abundance and miracles.  I feel full.  I stay calm.  I let others be as they are.   In short, I do as Love does.  With that, I can’t go wrong.

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7 Comments

  1. this is perfect, love u

    Reply
    • So glad you came by! I love your site :)

      Reply
  2. My hubs scolds me for this. The giving and not allowing myself to receive. Nicely put. :)

    Reply
    • Thanks Amber! I work on this daily….

      Reply
  3. Wow. Phenomenal post Danielle. I can so totally relate to it. We sound a lot alike. I am always willing to do whatever is needed for others and find myself getting hurt when they don’t reciprocate. Been that way for years. Sometimes it’s easy to feel taken advantage of, or simply not appreciated. My hubby is wonderful about reciprocating so I always have someone that lifts me up :) But I’m learning that doing for others doesn’t always mean they care enough to do for you and that’s ok. I’d still do for them anyway because that’s who I am. I really love your post. I think it just became the next post for my Favorite Post Friday meme tomorrow. Thanks for posting! :)

    Reply
    • I’m so grateful Charissa!! I just checked out your blog and it’s GORGEOUS :)
      xoxoxo

      Reply

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