In one moment all seemed lost.  I took the opinion of one person and ran with it.  My mind took me through the depths of the worst-case scenario.  It helped me set up camp there and panic  I stayed there and allowed the pain and worry to wind its way through me.  I pictured myself in this new life, this new version of myself. It ached. I felt my joy ripped from me and allowed my head to rest in my hands.  And there in that moment of despair, a light flickered. I glimpsed it. I recognized the hope and the promise in it. I breathed.

And rubbing my tear-filled eyes, a thought occurred to me: This is not what I want to run toward.  I may not always be the one calling the shots, but I sure as shit get to decide where they land.  In short, I am the one who lends significance to the events in my life.  Everyone works off of my frame (whether they know it or not).

I am not a victim.  I am a compassionate interpreter.  I decide what I learn from.  I choose what to forgive and what I am learning now is that I am meant to forgive it all.

I choose to intend a life of love and joy.  This does not mean there will not be pain, but it does mean that I need not suffer.

I think I’ll rest here.

Power and freedom is right here and now.

 

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