In one moment all seemed lost. I took the opinion of one person and ran with it. My mind took me through the depths of the worst-case scenario. It helped me set up camp there and rest. Although I’m not sure I can really call that rest. I stayed there and allowed the pain and worry to wind its way through me. I pictured myself in this new life, this new version of myself. It ached. I felt my joy ripped from me and allowed my head to rest in my hands. And there in that moment of despair, a light flickered. I glimpsed it. I recognized the hope and the promise in it. I breathed.
And rubbing my tear-filled eyes, a thought occurred to me. This is not what I want to run toward. I may not always be the one calling the shots, but I sure as shit get to decide where they land. In short, I am the one who lends significance to the events in my life. Everyone works off of my frame (whether they know it or not).
I am not a victim. I am a compassionate interpreter. I decide what I learn from. I choose what to forgive and what I am learning now is that I am meant to forgive it all. I am not a victim.
I choose to intend a life of love and joy. This does not mean there will not be pain, but it does mean that I need not suffer.
I think I’ll rest here.
Oh the power and the freedom…