It’s amazing how quickly I forget. Things go well, there’s a flow and I start to think I can go it alone. I start to think that I know everything and am ready to catch the fast train to enlightenment. Off I go!! Zooooooom!
But I forgive myself. I chose wrongly. Because when I think I’m going it alone, I’m actually just siding with my ego. I’m thinking with the part of my mind that would make me special and keep me separate from you. It feels good for a bit, but there is always an underlying melancholy and a running frantic thought that says “I gotta make this last!”. When I go it alone, I’m always afraid of losing what I’ve learned because for a moment I did.
I either gently bring myself back to Love or my life does it for me. We either drop to our knees or we’re brought to our knees.
Either way it’s all good. I just have to remind myself that Love feels better because it’s who I am. And though I keep wanting to wander off on my own, there is a soft hum beckoning me back with a gentle smile.
I feel it.
And though it doesn’t speak I feel like it would say: “Where did you think you were? My love, you’ve been here the whole time.”
Here’s to finding “Here”.