I’m searching for the middle ground.  For nearly all of my adult life, my body has been the enemy.  I fought it fiercely and resented it endlessly.  Now it is balance and compassion I seek.  I know I am not my body.  I know that Spirit is my reality, and yet this flesh and bone is my carriage.  It sweeps me through life to the truth.  It is the wave I ride to the great beyond.  There’s no sense in fighting anymore.

How do I love and deny something at the same time?  How do I pay close attention to something that isn’t even real?  When I look outside of myself I see that I shouldn’t carry this extra weight on my thighs, nor the added flesh on my hips.  I see I should be lean, should not eat bread and should detox regularly.  It seems to me this body is a weapon of mass distraction.  It’s design: to keep me afraid, keep me comparing and blind me from what is real.

So what do I do?  How do I find the happy medium of understanding I am sweet Spirit and blessing that which appears to contain it?  I’ve asked.  I’ve prayed.  I’ve meditated.  What I heard is Forgiveness.

So I look at myself in the mirror with an awareness that I exist above & beyond what I see before me.  I also recognize that I have choices and every time I choose what I put in my body, I invite the Divine in with me.  I know that I am not guilty.  I can forgive thinking that I am.  I know that I am separate from no one and nothing.  I forgive believing that I am.

I let it all go.  The work I do with my body is no different than the work I do with my Spirit.  It’s all the same with the same purpose: remembering that Love is all there is. Period.

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