It all comes down to this: I want to be peaceful.  And from this there is no turning back.  I cannot say that I want success, romantic love, wealth or notoriety without feeling that nudge within that says “Really?  Is that what you really want?”  No.  I want peace.  But I will be a witness to everything else that comes.

I will witness the joys and the pains.  I will witness the reunions and the separations.  I will see it all with a compassionate, knowing eye and the truth will remain that peace is what I want.

So, is desiring to be successful a bad thing?  Is desiring to have romance in my life a cop-out?  No.  But if I am attached to having those things…if I make my happiness contingent on their being there then I am so incredibly screwed.  And I don’t want that.

I want the serenity of knowing that I am here to learn and to forgive, nothing more.  But I also know that I can be joyful.  I can indulge my preferences.  I can allow Danielle to be Danielle while understanding that my name, my body is not my truth.

There is so much more than this.  The love and the peace that pulses patient and strong around us is always there, waiting…knowing.

It calls us home in a loving whisper, arms wide open, ready to welcome us back to the place we never left.

I want that.

And it sure as heck, ain’t here.

But I’m remembering… ♥

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