It’s so easy to lay blame sometimes, isn’t it?  It’s addictive even.  To take all the hurt, the guilt and the shame and just throw it out.  Let it land where it may.  Take a look, pick the easiest target and start pointing fingers.

It’s all YOUR fault!

Ah, but I know better.  At least, I’m willing to know better.  I cannot truly believe that Love is all there is and yet think that the world is against me.  It doesn’t work that way.

I am unlearning.  I am embarking on a new way of being.  Nothing and no one is against me.  I am forever safe.  It’s not easy.  I feel myself get scared.  If nothing outside of me is my enemy, then at some point I have to look within.

Oh dear.

And then it occurs to me….perhaps that is what I have been fearing this whole time: looking within.  What if that’s where the enemy lies?  What if there’s only darkness there…crippling, breathtaking darkness?

Breathe.

I have glimpsed the light.  It’s bigger.  It loves all in its wake.  There is nothing it does not touch.  I can remember that.  With help, I can remember it all.

For now, I need someone to hold my hand.  For now, I need to reach out.  For now, I will whisper to myself and trust : There is no enemy.  And I will breathe.

For now.

 

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