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This is all I can do: love people as they are and then love everything as it is. This is what my Teacher seems to be teaching.

And it’s not easy when you’re used to control. I could always use certain words, frame things in a particular way….all to get what I wanted, or what I thought I wanted. It was always a false kind of control. But then, it was all I’d ever known. Chaos was the enemy. Verbal tantrums and forced action were the only solutions. Until now.

I have met with Something much more powerful. It uses only compassion. I wanted to laughed at first. It only smiled. It simply waited while I fussed and fidgeted, trying to make sense of the nonsensical. It waited.

Like a heartbeat that I had never heard before- that had been silent all this time and yet, all this time kept me alive. And I’m beginning to hear it.

What I hear is this: love, just love….let go, just let go.

There is so much change afoot. I feel it in my bones. All I want to do is hold tight to my children and hide. They don’t want any of it and neither do I. I want to shield them from all that I see will just go wrong. I hear their fears and I calmly try to soothe them, not believing my own words. They sense it. They feel it all.

What can I do?

I have to love people as they are. I have to let go. I have to love what is and allow a sweet, crazy kind of beauty bubble to the surface. Maybe then I can begin to see how my way would have marred it…would have stifled it.

Love it all as it is. No push, no pull.

I can try. I will try.

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