The Wait

The Wait

“I just feel like a big, fat liar,” I told her. I used silly words on purpose. They disguised the lump in my throat. My friend beheld me lovingly. We sat on the grass with no blanket beneath us. Her high wooden fence provided an imaginary privacy. Our...
Ending a Marriage, Saving the Love

Ending a Marriage, Saving the Love

So yesterday I did an interview with one of my dearest friends in the world, Macha Einbender for herfuture.com. It’s raw and honest and, hopefully, helpful. The truth of my marriage ending is that my former husband is a gay man. A conclusion we both came to in...
My Detour into Crazy Town

My Detour into Crazy Town

Two nights ago I took a detour into Crazy Town. You know, one of those nights where one fearful thought is allowed to fester and grow until you’re ranting and raving about things and people you cannot control, seeking out reasons to get upset, looking at things...
When I Get Lost

When I Get Lost

For a minute there, I got lost… I trust so easily sometimes. I slip and slide into that which I do not want and it’s days gone by before I realize I am somewhere else, somewhere I never desired to be. I open up without a care. I invite those from hither...
Sorry, Christmas, I’m Just Not That Into You

Sorry, Christmas, I’m Just Not That Into You

But usually I am. Usually come December 1st I’m blaring carols, stringing up lights and half-done my shopping. This year is different though. And I’m not trying to be all dramatic and depressed and make a big deal where a big deal need not be made. But...
Whispers

Whispers

Whispers in the schoolyard are all in my head. The looks up and down, a mixture of pity and “I’m glad it’s not me”, they’re all in my head. A mother says to another mother under her breath “I don’t know what I’d...
Steps

Steps

I still remember how it was. I remember the anxiety and the nervous thoughts constantly passing through my mind. I recall the fear, the nasty comments I reserved only for myself and I can absolutely feel the compulsion again: That need to feel better, to fill up and...
The Call for Love

The Call for Love

I’ve never been to Boston. I’ve never seen its sights, soaked in the history, walked its streets. I’ve always wanted to, but haven’t yet. And hearing the news yesterday didn’t make me want to stay away, it made me sad, but it didn’t...
Body Work

Body Work

I’m searching for the middle ground.  For nearly all of my adult life, my body has been the enemy.  I fought it fiercely and resented it endlessly.  Now it is balance and compassion I seek.  I know I am not my body.  I know that Spirit is my reality, and yet...
I Walk With You

I Walk With You

I don’t get disappointed with others in my life too often.  For the most part, I have compassion and can see them for the light that they are.  It’s when I put them on a pedistal that I get into trouble.  There’s nowhere for them to go but...